Baby’s Breath Men – No fillers please!

Maybe its just my champagne taste or my impeccable preference for the finer things in life (haha) but when I look at a beautiful bouquet of flowers, which I haven’t in a while because for some reason men are retarded to the fact that chivalry is NOT dead, I want to see calla lilies, roses, birds of paradise, exotic orchids, do you get the picture or shall I continue? I don’t want no stinking carnations, pansies and worst of all baby’s breath… paaalease, just like I don’t want baby’s breath men…they are just fillers, substitutes if you will for the real deal. Either way, let me help you visualize this, a bouquet of flowers symbolizes that of your dating life. Why fill your bouquet of life with imitation men and or women? You wouldn’t go to a 5-star restaurant and insist on having the imitation crab, heck no, you want that quality fresh from the Chesapeake Bay blue crab meat …you know what I’m saying! So why wouldn’t you require the same for your dating life?

You are the florist of your life, decorating and arranging your vase with each relationship and dating experience. I don’t know about you but I’ve had my fair share of pansies and baby’s breath and I’m ready to eliminate the crap and start being the master floral expert and fill my vase full of exquisite, centerpiece worthy men! You wouldn’t invite company over for dinner and stick a crappy bouquet of baby’s breath and carnations on the center of the table in an urn now would you? But for some reason we will allow half ass men that just aren’t enough to be apart of your life, introduce them to friends and make excuses for them and their bad behavior! A real man needs to make you laugh, make you feel like a pretty pretty princess, lift you up when you are down, encourage you when someone rains on your parade and puff out his chest like Superman because he is proud to have you on his arm! Simply put by the great pre-crack is whack Whitney Houston “I need a man who’ll take a chance on a love that burns hot enough to last….Ohhhh I wanna dance with somebody!” When the time comes that you can sing that anthem at the top of your lungs and there a man that can fan the flames that burn deep in your loins… then and only then should you allow him to become the center piece of your life. There is no need to settle for second-rate relationships. There are not required by law…and if you treat yourself better than your current fling/relationship/flavor of the week…then why would you downgrade and take yourself off the market? I agree with Beyonce, “Partner let me up grade you, flip a new page, let me introduce you to some new things and upgrade you”….no downgrades, no mediocre men for me!

Baby’s breath is used to just fill in the holes of a bouquet for someone that was too cheap to splurge on some nice foliage or more flowers. Ladies and gentlemen, why do we insist on wasting time on people that we know are not good enough for us? Quality is certainly better than quantity! Maybe it is due to the increasingly popular mental health disorders or a little imbalance in the brain that makes us all an occasional glutton for punishment but enough is enough!! Sure they can occupy your free time here and there, text messages you when you are bored or not with someone else, yes I said it! Simply put, you can’t magically turn that sorry baby’s breath man into the lily of the valley, birds of paradise, or a classic rose…you can’t change someone into what you want them to be. If you can’t accept the person for who they are, then they are not right for you! Now you can try to make a few minor changes like hair cut, clothing choices, and sheew what is with men that can’t dress themselves these days?? Maybe I should invent Garanimals for adults….that’s a thought! I am always willing to step it up a notch for a man I am interested in and that street most certainly goes both ways. We get a little lazy in the middle of relationships and that’s when the wondering eye comes in!

Its time we start treating each other the way that we want to be treated and if that certain someone cannot reciprocate that novel idea then….stop watering those flowers!! They will wilt away and soon enough, there will be mold, they will stink, and you will just let it sit in your flower vase of life while it festers until finally your sorry ass decides to throw it out one day. And when that day comes, uggghhhh moldy stinky flowers, you will wonder why you didn’t do it earlier!

I challenge you to take a little survey of your life and the people that you allow in it. What are these people bringing into your life? Are they uplifting, encouraging, fun to be with or do they use you, put you in a funk and suck all the fun out of you?? I want to be proud of my arrangement and that feeling should be mutual. Don’t allow those baby breath men to suck the oxygen and water out of your vase. The only fillers I need in my life are restylane and botox! So get out your sheers, its time to prune and make room!!

I've Got Sunshine...on a Cloudy Day!

I’ll be glad to share my sunshine with you but I certainly won’t let you steal it :)

I shall deem this my declaration of independence and happiness. Everyday gives you the opportunity to learn something new about yourself, life and the choice to be a better person. Now, don’t mistake this as me on my soapbox but do take this as the way I have chosen to live my life and if you can take something away from it, then wonderful, and if it pisses you off, well then…that's unfortunate but I will not apologize for being happy anymore! I’m not where I want to be but I definitely am not where I used to be… …but I do feel the need to address something that seems to be reoccurring in my life lately. Have you ever noticed that when you are doing something in your life or not doing something in your life but still remain full of joy and happiness despite what may be challenging you, that’s when the bombardment of opinions from those around you seem to come at you like darts. Although I gladly welcome constructive criticism because yes it is part of growing, I will not and repeat will not accept negativity, judgment and just plain out mean criticism. Everyone has a different path in life and thank god for that!! Could you imagine if we were all going after the same “nonexistent perfect man” the same “perfect job” and the same “perfect lifestyle”?? Part of being a friend is to accept others the way they are, their ideas and what they value, even if it is different from yours. I like to surround myself with people I can learn from whether it is culturally, a new hobby or skill, or just someone who enjoys life and can have a good ol “donkey” laugh with you. (Donkey laugh- uncontrollable, loud and not so cute from the diaphragm laugh)

Unfortunately, you have to be aware and guard yourself from those people who want to steal your sunshine. It is so easy to take offence to words someone says to you or about you but at the same time I have to realize that they are talking because they are thinking about you! My momma always says "Hurting people hurt". Although she isn't a widely known prophet she certainly is in my family. It makes a lot of sense. Those who hurt other with their words and actions are the ones who are actually suffering but there is no telling whats is going on in their lives. It takes a stronger person to turn the other cheek and walk away from a nasty mean hearted comment than to stay and fight with words. All you can do is hope that your actions will cause them to reflect a little. No one is ever right all the time, no one is ever done growing and no one can make you happy, that is something that you choose and go after yourself...like a starving lion in the wilderness….go capture you happiness and devour it like its the last meal you will ever enjoy!!

I find myself having to declare my happiness out loud, possibly as reassurance for myself but more so to fend off the evil spirits….aka “the haters”. At any level of success there will always be someone around the corner that doesn't want to congratulate you, share your happiness and encourage you and that's why they are called haters, something is missing in their lives. Let your haters be your motivators! Everything is not meant to be understood, you just have to accept it and have faith that it happened for a reason that is bigger than you. Trying to rationalize everything little thing is only going to frustrate you and hold you back. Of course things are going to happen in life to trip you up, to throw you off of your game and those you surround yourself with can sometimes be the biggest stumbling blocks in life!! What matters is how you accept it, learn from it and move on....YES I SAID MOVE ON and sometimes that can mean literally moving!

I have realized over the past year that many things have been thrown into my path that should have kept me down, that could have gotten the best of me, but I refused. I refuse to let anyone steal my joy, I refuse to allow anyone to criticize me about how I choose to live MY life and I refuse to “dump ugly” on those around me for the sake of thinking it would make me feel better. Encourage your friends and family, compliment someone, just think a little outside of the “you box” and think about if the things you do and say, hurt or help others. Now I’m not trying to be little Miss Sunshine and “Don’t worry be happy” but I’d much rather be considered sunshine than a rainy cloud!

Cultivate humility and kindness because everyone could use a little more nice than a lot more ugly in this world :)