Agape –unconditional, Eros – romantic and Philia – brotherly
Love can exist everyday, anywhere. It doesn’t have to be mushy, only on Valentine’s Day, or while exchanging vows. That kind of love called Eros, is a love that is romantic, passionate and sensual. In Greco-Roman tradition the phenomenon of love was generally understood as madness from the gods. Stories and images of love’s arrows would pierce or wound the lover’s hearts and overwhelm them with a love sickness. The Romeo and Juliet’s of our history may be the only source, the only understanding some have of the verb, love. Or current versions of this love turn to obsession, stalking, or fatal attraction!
Love can simply equal kindness….are you really that busy you don’t have two seconds to let that one car out in front of you, hold the door for a stranger, wait while someone else takes too long to order their food. You can show love to stranger with just a smile. This my friends is, agape, an unconditional, true love for mankind. The Bible describes it as a sacrificial love. Love is patient, love is kind. It represents humility, unselfishness, along with understanding and acceptance for one another. Sometimes our differences are what balance out and create lasting relationships, that is only when we learn to accept them.
We have all heard “live like we were dying” even Tim McGraw agrees but why not “love like we were dying”…..such a novel concept! Not one of us is promised tomorrow. Would you honestly want your last day on earth to be spent crying over a silly situation you have no power to change, being angry because the clerk at the grocery store put too many groceries in one bag…because that drives me crazy! Seriously people, take it with a grain of salt. Do not let past hurts, the way someone treated you 10 years ago effect the way you treat the ones around you today. I learned first hand the hard way because I have pushed some very nice people away because I had not fully let go of some hurt that was still in my heart. It was never their fault I chose crappy relationships, but they sure were paying for it. So maybe you grew up in a not so affectionate home where no one said “I love you” or hugged and kissed each other hello and goodbye. I am soo thankful that I did! Even though some days we showed our love for one another by fist fighting over the remote control, getting slapped in the face with a pair of blue jeans or pulling the chair out from under each other. We love hard – “that’s what us Goins’ do.” We hug you and love you and pet you, we do everything 100%. Philia- the love of loyalty, felt from parents to their children, within a family or friendships. It is a mere acceptance of each other no matter what but it requires virtue! Everyone has a different way to love and be loved. No matter where you are with love a must read is “The Five Love Languages”. It explains how different personalities need to be loved and how to love everyone and I mean everyone! Even if they are a negative Nancy who fusses about the weather, the drive to work and the drive home from work…..work, then about you, and then about him, you can love that person too!
Could you even conceive of how different the world would be if instead of allowing anger to eat you up when someone makes you mad, you forgave them? Instead of shooting someone over a drug deal gone bad, you turned the other cheek, let them have their crack and walk away. I know from living in Charlotte that this place could benefit from less crime and retaliation. If only we sowed kindness and love instead of anger and resentment how much more peaceful could our lives be. I recently had the privilege to participate in a “helping hands mission” with my parents and their church. I have found that over time, I benefit more from self-less acts and kindness than being selfish and doing just for Jennie. To see the gratitude come across these people's face in return for a hot dog lunch, few articles of clothing and some can food, overflows my heart and is in one word… Love! There were people who were surprised that someone actually wanted to help them, and that we were just giving those supplies out of love. There were single people, couples and families up to six people who were on disability, unemployment and had health issues. During the registration process, almost every single person checked the box that asked if “they would like for a church to contact them.” Imagine that, over 500 people in one day in Thomasville, wanted someone to reach out to them. Unfortunately we like to think we are soooo busy with our own business we would quickly pass them by on the street on the way to have our $6 coffee and power lunch with colleagues that we never once think to show them generosity or kindness. There were those who filled out their information cards that asked for prayer for themselves, their health, family, a job….the same thing you and I, who are more fortunate, have on our hearts and minds! A war vet came in….(insert joke here) – that fought in the “Veteran War” ba dum dum, with his hat on and was so thrilled to get a hot dog lunch and a box of food, he grinned ear to ear and kept saying, “thank you”, “wow”, “thank you”! This man went to war for our country and is now barely getting by off of his social security and disability. He made a huge sacrifice to fight for us and all we did was give him a hot dog and he’s the one saying thank you!!
We must do more. There is a call to action here people. It is to sew generosity and kindness every step of your day. It may take a little more effort or a few more seconds, but the rewards you’ll reap from showing love can change a person’s life. A word of encouragement and a positive outlook just may be all another person needs to get by that day. Stop tearing people down with your judgemental comments and build them up. The challenge here is to be kind to a stranger, but better yet, be kind to those who already love you and accept you for everything you are or everything you are not. They are the grease in your gears, the oil in your motor…which reminds me I need oil change! And oh yea, if you change the oil in your car every few thousands miles, don’t you think YOU need a little oil change? We all get weary, worn out, stressed out from everyday life events, so take a little time for yourself to be silent, with no TV, just you and who ever you choose to meditate on and reflect on everything you have to be thankful for…a job, a home, friends, family, food in the fridge, a car, A/C, and the freedom that you have a choice!! Gratitude changes your attitude to one of acceptance and allows better things to come your way.
I would much rather have engraved on my urn (because I want to be cremated and returned to the earth, preferably to the ocean) that I loved too much, I was too kind to people who mistreated me and my bubbly, too happy personality got on your nerves, than have R.I.P – Rest in Peace- meaning your welcome you’re gone because you never had a day of living peace nor did the people around you!!
I dare you…be nice, be generous, love a little more!! Agape, Aros, or Phylos – do love!
